i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
i think i just lost a toe
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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