Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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