i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
