I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
