According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
