Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
