ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
