Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
