i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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