We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
