11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My cat gives me a boner
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
