so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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