So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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