I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
