Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
