I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
im on a boat
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