You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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