I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
