literally had 100 drinks last night.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
im having a threesome with these popsicles
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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