I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize