Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
