just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
