what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Randomize
