That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
