I want to have your abortion
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize