Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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