Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
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