It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
