everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She needs sedatives and a leash
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
