I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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