Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
