I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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