Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
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