what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
