I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
