seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
