Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
