You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
