college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
