i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
