It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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