I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
