i barfeds in our rink
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
