Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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