That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I can't put those talents on a resume
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
