Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
