im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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