I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
