Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
