Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
So I just went to clothing optional bar
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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