You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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