I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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