how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
