I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
