I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize