...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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