doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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