Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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