OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
