is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
