I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
