i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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